Wow! Day Four!

Am I really blogging about day four at school? Yes, I really am. I am because my heart is breaking for my little girl. And, while I have done so well with being the strong Momma for her so far, this morning we both had a break down. She cried, real tears and I cried with her in front of all the other kids parents. I felt horrible for her. The day started so well again like it has been every other day of school so far. She was excited and I felt such relief when Lilly practically ran ahead of me on her way to school and then ran into the play ground and actually started playing without anyone suggesting it. Then, the bell rang and she ran happily... to me. She had even before had gone and placed her backpack in line and now she wouldn't dare get in line herself. She clung to me again. This time, she clung to me and cried. She wanted Momma to stay with her. She didn't wanna meet any new friends. She needed me and it killed me to see her this way. The last three days we struggled but there were no tears. I did again what I needed to do. I hugged her so tight and kissed her. I smiled and told her she was going to have a great day! And I left. I am still tearing up thinking about it. My baby needed me and I just left her there. I feel horrible. Please tell me it will get easier. Convincing myself doesn't seem to be working! I know again I will pick her up at school and she will be all smiles and say she had a great day, but I cannot help but think of Tuesday again and having to go through this again. Last year she never even wanted me around. I tired to pick her up from school a few times and she told me she wanted to take the bus home with her friends. Far cry from today!